The Human Animal

I keep noticing new things about pregnancy. For example, I've never burned my tongue so often or so severely as I have since I got pregnant. At first I burned it multiple times a day reburning the old burns. I've gotten to where it's just a few times a week now, but for the first time in my life, some of the burns are so severe that they hurt for days. Matt has always been too impatient to wait for his food to cool, and I had that one little thing to look down on him for. Now I'm just so hungry, I don't take the time to test it and make sure I'm not going to burn my whole throat.

That sort of leads into something else I've noticed which is that I am an animal. Yes, I knew that I was an animal before, but I never really felt like one. I've never been so acutely aware of it. Few of my concerns now involve higher order thinking. I want food, drink, safety, sleep, and comfort. I haven't really given a damn about anything else in the past month or two.

I'm also operating on instinct more than I ever have. I know exactly what needs to be done and how I'm going to do it, but I don't know why. My fight or flight reflex is on overdrive but has switched almost completely to fight. I'm wondering if that's my body's way of preparing to be the slowest member of the herd. After all, if you can't run, you gotta kick 'em in the throat.

A friend of mine told me that a lot of abusive men start smacking their women around when they get pregnant. I don't understand how the women put up with it. I don't just mean because the man that's supposed to be there for you is beating you up, or because your baby is in danger. What I mean is, if somebody started smacking me around right now, I feel like I wouldn't have to wait until he fell asleep to brain him with a frying pan. I could totally rip a zombie's head off with my bare hands.

So, I'm thinking that the first stranger that tries to grab my belly is going to get an unpleasant aikido surprise. I don't even know aikido.